Lactation makes you stupid

I have photographic evidence:

This is my bosom buddy (ha ha!), my trusty Medela Pump In Style (yeah, right) which accompanies me to work everyday so that Boo can get hooter juice while she's whoopin' it up with her buds at daycare.

When properly used, you hook up the bottles to the...what are those things called anyway? But I digress...you hook up the bottles, place the thingamajigs in their proper alignment (use your imagination), and turn the pump on. It does its thing, and lo and behold you collect milk for your little darling.

Unless you're me. In which case, you use this set up:

which results in this:

and the conviction that you are, quite possibly, the most clueless human being alive.